About this work
A poem moves through fear and childbirth toward the sense of another life growing alongside the speaker’s own. This English version is an editorial translation for access; the Japanese text remains available alongside it for comparison.
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日本語原文 Japanese original
何に怯えて
何に怖気づく
ホラーって、見えない恐れのことよね。
想像が不安を掻き立て
まだ何も起きてないのに
わたしをシーツにしがみつかせる
負けるもんか
見えない相手よ
いやだお腹が引き裂かれそう…
シーツが血みどろ…そのシーツの中に
もぞもぞ動く肉の塊り一つ
身体が溶けてゆくシーツの中で
卑猥で醜悪な匂いに彩られて
誕生しましたよ…女の子よ、二重瞼が今から可愛い
責任もてよと男が叫ぶ声
天井を見据えてもまた叫ぶ男が憎い
精一杯拡げていた脚が無性にけなるい…
得体の知れない恐れが遠のく
漠然だけど暖かな色の肉がわたしの中に侵入してきた
それは慎重に、丁寧に、自然体の私にかさなって
今の私に出来る事は
もっと深掘りしていきたい心だけ
たくさんの世俗の夢よ、さよならね、
子の肉体よ、たくさんの夢を叶えなさいよ。
私と一緒に、もう一つの私が生きるのよ、生きて語って食べて生きて…
English translation 英訳
AI-assisted English translation. The Japanese original remains authoritative.
What am I afraid of?
What am I scared of?
HORRA is about invisible fears, isn't it?
Imagination stirs up anxiety,
Even though nothing has happened yet,
It clings to me like a sheet.
Will I lose?
Invisible opponent,
I don't want it—my stomach feels like it's being torn apart…
The sheet is bloodied… within that sheet,
There's one lump of flesh wriggling around.
In the sheet that is dissolving my body,
It is colored with vulgar and ugly smells,
She is born… a girl, your double eyelids will soon be cute.
A man's voice shouts, 'Take responsibility.'
Even if I look up at the ceiling, the man who shouts is hateful.
My legs, which I stretched as much as I could, suddenly want to collapse…
The fear I can't quite grasp is receding.
A vague but warm-colored flesh invades me.
It carefully, politely, and naturally merges with my self.
What I can do now is only the heart that wants to dig deeper.
Many worldly dreams, goodbye,
Child's body, fulfill many dreams.
Let me live with me, another self lives alongside me, live, speak, eat, live…
Original wording, author credits, notes and source materials are preserved there.